


Clumsy Lover

by Servalan



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Ballroom trope, Episode: s05e06 Timeless, F/M, Fix-It, Hopeful Ending, Post-Episode: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), ballgown, coming in uniform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:08:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Servalan/pseuds/Servalan
Summary: We often think of Chakotay as a thoughtful, attentive lover. But what if he wasn’t? Set during Timeless.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 23
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This cried out for a second chapter, which is done, and will be posted tomorrow.
> 
> Thank you Bizarra for the thoughtful beta! Of course I kept tinkering with it so all mistakes are mine.
> 
> I don’t own these silly kids, CBS/Paramount does.

_We’ve waited long enough._

Did she just say that out loud? She wondered, as they were discussing the plan that might get them home, but with a meaning entirely more intimate. 

She’d decorated her quarters with candles, flowers, and to her mind, relaxing music to signal her intentions. She’d gone so far as to order him to cancel his dinner plans and come to hers, not that she needed to to convince him. Why wasn’t he being as forward as she was?

She knew the risks of using the engine to get them home but she’d promised her crew. They were more than ready. So now was the time for her and Chakotay; their last night together in the Delta Quadrant, before they would most likely be separated for who knows how long with inquiries, panels, perhaps even quarantine. Tonight they could finally indulge their feelings.

But he kept steering the conversation back to the risks. Was he not going to act? Damn the man. She knew he’d harbored feelings for her for years, but of course he had always acted respectfully. Perhaps she would have to be more direct. She approached and leaned over him with a flirtatious warning about her cooking and patted his cheek. He joked back, but it wasn’t enough.

They mostly enjoyed their meal in silence, stealing occasional glances at each other. Only this time she didn’t look away as much.

“That was delicious,” he said, putting down his napkin and taking a sip of water. 

“Thank you, I’m just pleased you managed to finish it.” Without meaning to, she giggled nervously and felt heat rush to her cheeks.

“So what’s for desert?” He raised an eyebrow and flashed her those dimples.

There. There it was.

She stood cautiously and smiled, then slowly backed into the bulkhead, never taking her eyes off of his. He jumped up quickly and nearly fell back into his chair. She had to stifle the urge to laugh, lest she scare him away. He was in front of her in seconds and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you…”

“Yes.” She cut him off, wanting him to stop talking. 

As if he could read her mind, his mouth came crashing down on hers. His lips engulfed hers, and a strong tongue jammed its way in, and down the back off her throat, an unmistakable scent of whisky on his breath. She gagged and pushed him back.

“Sorry,” he said, “I’ve just wanted to do that for so long…”

So he’s nervous, she thought, and wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in again. He dove in and ran his tongue all over hers, mashing his nose up against hers, and soon she couldn’t breathe.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

She pushed him back once more and looked into his eyes filled with a hunger that she still felt, even with the rocky start.

“Chakotay, let’s get more comfortable,” she said, taking his hand and leading him towards her bed. She’d barely made it to the foot of it when he whipped her around, tore off her jacket, and lifted up her grey turtleneck over her head. Stuck midway between nose and mouth, she had to wiggle a little to get it off completely. Grinning at her chest the way she often looked at the first coffee of the day, he seized her shoulders and pushed her down roughly on the mattress, collapsing on top of her.

“Chakotay, stop.” This was all happening too fast. 

He immediately rolled off of her, lowered his eyes, and mumbled an apology.

“It’s okay, we’ve been wanting this for a long time. Let’s slow down a little, yes?” She smiled and lifted his chin back up. She thought he might try and kiss her then, but instead he placed his index finger on her bra and lightly circled her breast. 

It did nothing for her, but he seemed in such awe of her that she continued to let him. She nuzzled her neck against his lips, hoping he would find that spot, knowing that when he touched her there before he had felt her trembling beneath him. Only this time he nawed on her neck, moaning indecipherably. It did feel a little good?

His free hand found the fastening of her trousers and fumbled with the zipper. She thought about easing out of them. but realized he still had on his entire uniform. It was long past time she’d seen his chest. She placed both hands on his arms and moved towards loosening his jacket. but he rolled on top of her, perhaps mistaking this moment for getting closer.

And no matter, because when his thigh hit just between her legs, she felt that tingling sensation she’d missed for so long. She let out a gasp, which he took as encouragement, moving his leg faster and faster as she felt his erection rubbing up against her thigh. For a few moments they moved in complete synchronicity; they could not get enough of one another. She turned her mouth up to his for a kiss and...

“UHARRUHAAAAAACH,” he cried out and collapsed on top of her, pinning her to the sheets.

For a time she didn’t move. This wasn’t at all what she had been expecting. She wasn’t sure what to say. Disappointment, shame, and lingering ache circled in her head as his saliva pooled on her neck. She was about to ask him if they could try again when she heard his snoring, light at first, then steadily growing louder. 

Great. She couldn’t wake him now, not with him on the most crucial mission in just a few hours. He needed the rest more than she did.

She glanced over his shoulder at some of the candles and the flowers she could just make out by the door. Very softly she whispered: “Computer, end music.”


	2. Chapter 2

Kathryn smoothed her periwinkle gown and looked around the ballroom. It had been six months since she had seen many of her crew after their return to the Alpha Quadrant. A celebration of Voyager returning home after being stranded seven years ago was long overdue, but Kathryn didn’t feel much up to the task.

She’d already had a chance to catch up with B’Elanna and Tom and play with little Miral, met with Harry and his parents, and visited Tuvok who fortunately was making much progress with his healing. She tried not to think about the fact she was avoiding the two who had once meant so much to her.

One of them was there now, resplendent in dark red gown with her blonde locks flowing about her. The former drone was standing at the bar but not drinking, and did not look very happy. Uncharitably Kathryn wondered if it had something to do with her choice of boyfriends.

The ballroom doors swung open behind her, and Seven’s face lit up into the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen on her protege. Kathryn both did and did not want to turn around and see him. While they had never officially talked about what happened the night before their ill-fated voyage with the Slipstream drive, their relationship had irrevocably changed. She had increasingly pulled away, with few moments of playfulness punctuated throughout their final years in the Delta Quadrant. He in turn had, perhaps out of embarrassment, not been as attentive. And then just as they were getting home, he’d inexplicably started dating Seven.

Perhaps he didn’t remember the incident at all. She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. 

But face him she must, so she turned only to see Tal Celes instead. The Bajoran ensign smiled awkwardly as she entered the room. She was dressed in a simple yet elegant green gown, but it was the jewelry on her hand that caught Kathryn’s eye. She wore a pewter wrist bracelet with matching rings on all first knuckles, connected by an elaborate silvery mesh down the back of her hand. She’d never seen anything like it, but it looked strangely familiar.

She started to raise her hand in greeting, but the ensign uncharacteristically walked right past her and straight to Seven, where the two held up their palms and tenderly clasped hands. Their matching silver shone in brightly under the bar light. Kathryn found herself grinning as well, watching the couple forget the world around them. 

Kathryn greeted many of her crew and met their families, but eventually grew tired of making small talk. She went out for some air, and found the balcony refreshingly empty. The night was unexpectedly cool and she rubbed her shoulders. She was about to go back in when she heard that familiar voice behind her.

“Here Captain, have this.”

She turned to find Chakotay standing at a respectful distance with his arm outstretched, holding his tuxedo jacket. She hoped her reaction was unreadable, as her emotions went from annoyance to gratitude to something...else. She didn’t want to think too much about it so she took the jacket and put it on. Naturally it was much too large for her but it felt reassuring.

“Chakotay I...”

“Captain I…”

They both stopped in unison. 

“Your first,” he said.

“No you, please.”

“I…” he paused and tugged on his earlobe. “I don’t mean to presume, but after getting an earful from B’Elanna I thought you should know. I never meant to hurt you with Seven. It didn’t last anyway, as you can see.” He smiled softly and gave a small chuckle.

“She does look happy,” she responded, not sure what to say. Damn the man! She was usually much more certain of herself.

“It’s just... I thought that I had ruined any chance of ever getting to love you,” he blurted out. “I thought about that night every single day since, and I…”

“Chakotay it’s all...” she held up her hand.

“No it isn’t Kathryn,” he interrupted and moved a step closer to her. “When you ordered me to dinner, and the look on your face; the way you were walking, I got it in my head that we might actually, I mean, I didn’t expect…” he stammered. “I was so nervous I had some whisky I’d reserved for a special occasion. I know I had too much of it. I was so focused on concentrating; so concerned with making everything perfect, that I destroyed everything. I rushed you, I didn’t pick up on what you wanted, I wasn’t in tune with you. It was as if all my dreams about you were finally coming true, and I made them crash down all around us.”

He lowered his head. “I’m so sorry Kathryn. You deserved, no, you deserve better.”

Did she? Here was a man who loved her for so long, who had waited patiently for years; while she would beckon him to come close with one hand yet holding up the other for him to stop. Should one lousy evening determine their fate, or did she have the courage to open herself up to loving and being loved?

Later she would wonder if it was ever a conscious decision, but her body seemed to move of its own accord as she closed the distance between them, lifted his chin and looked into his eyes, racked with pain.

“Chakotay. I’ve missed you,” she said and tentatively placed her lips on his. The softness of them melted her own. He pulled back slightly and cocked his head, not believing her. 

“I’ve missed us,” she said and put her hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him once more to her. Their lips met and parted, each cautiously exploring the other, until electricity surged through her body and she could hold back no longer. She grabbed his face with both hands, pulling him tightly up against her, not ever wanting to let go.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently broke the kiss.

“Are you sure? Do you really believe there is a chance that we…”

“Come with me. Come home with me.”

At that he kissed her softly again and took her hand as they moved in concert towards the street, to the car waiting to take them home.


End file.
